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Episode 106 – Helping Kids vs. Saving for Retirement—How to Find the Right Balance

When your child calls and needs help with a student loan, a down payment, or rent, your first instinct is to help. As parents, it feels natural—essential even—to do everything in your power to support your kids.

But what happens when generosity collides with your own retirement goals?

In Episode 106 of the Last Paycheck Podcast, Rob and Archie Hoxton explore the emotionally charged (and financially risky) territory of financially supporting adult children. It’s a conversation more and more parents are facing in today’s world of rising costs and economic uncertainty.

The Hidden Cost of Generosity

According to Rob and Archie, many families fall into the trap of “retirement sacrifice syndrome.” That’s when parents provide ongoing support to adult children at the expense of their own financial security.

While the desire to help is understandable, overextending yourself can delay retirement, reduce your future options, and—ironically—create a future where you may have to rely on your children later in life.

Know the Difference: Crisis vs. Chronic

Not all help is harmful. Supporting a child through a genuine short-term crisis (job loss, medical emergency) is different than funding a lifestyle they can’t afford. The challenge lies in recognizing the pattern—and having the courage to set boundaries.

Rob and Archie offer questions to help parents reflect:

  • Is this a one-time request or an ongoing habit?
  • Am I enabling dependency instead of encouraging independence?
  • Can I afford this help without reducing my retirement contributions?

Strategies for Setting Boundaries (Without Guilt)

The episode suggests three practical ways to support kids while staying financially responsible:

  1. Set a Monthly Limit: Choose a dollar amount you can afford and stick to it. Communicate it clearly.
  2. Offer Assets, Not Cash: Gifting a used car or helping with a down payment using appreciated assets can reduce tax implications and keep things structured.
  3. Be Transparent: Share your retirement goals with your children so they understand what’s at stake.

When to Say “No”

If you’re pausing retirement contributions, tapping into savings, or feeling resentment, it’s time to reassess. Helping shouldn’t come at the cost of your financial future. In fact, the best gift you can give your children might be the example of financial independence.

Are you helping your kids more than your future self?

Download our Parent’s Financial Boundary Audit and find out if your generosity is sustainable—or setting you back. Schedule a no-pressure consultation to see how your current support impacts your retirement plan.
Download the Self-Audit
Certified Financial Planner Board of Standards Center for Financial Planning, Inc. owns and licenses the certification marks CFP®, CERTIFIED FINANCIAL PLANNER®, and CFP® (with plaque design) in the United States to Certified Financial Planner Board of Standards, Inc., which authorizes individuals who successfully complete the organization’s initial and ongoing certification requirements to use the certification marks.